Sinful but true, after returning my parents car I took a little time off. I have been chilling in my new room most of the time, but also visited an old friend and a party full of nerds.
Annabel is extremely happy to have me around all day, when she's not snoring she is purring. She loves sitting on my desk when I'm playing World of Warcraft, on my lap when I watch a DVD and on my belly when I'm reading a book.
Also I'm finally catching up with my laundry and when the piles of cloths (in different stages of the cleaning process) are gone I might even clean the rest of my messy room.

Besides not studying I also decided to spend money on stuff I didn't need. Next to a couple DVD-'s ('Wildthings', 'Antonia' and 'A Life Less Ordinary') I bought a magazine. In the magazine I saw an advertisement for a new perfume and decided to buy it. Then I figured I could use a new sweater. And voila, I'm broke again! Broke, but happy.


Le Parfum.

posted by Marian @ 2:26 PM 1 comments

Got up at 7h. Drove to Leiden. Parked. Attended a lecture. Drove to exposition. Took project apart (quite brutally). Filled up the trailer with trash and the car with computers and other stuff. Drove back to Utrecht. Emptied the car and trailer in garden and room (it's a mess). Drove to carpet shop to collect David's carpet. Drove all around Utrecht to find a way to his new room (the obvious route was closed so we were clueless). Threw carpet in garden. Drove to his old room. Drank coffee while car and trailer were being filled. Drove to new room and helped unload. Parked. Home at 21h. Waiting for pizza to be delivered.

posted by Marian @ 9:03 PM 2 comments

Sometimes time seems to fly by without a warning. Deadlines you weren't even aware of yet hit you in the face and reading material is piles up in ever growing stacks.
Without a clue of what happened to the time you just try to catch up, studying on automatic pilot.

To prevent this from happening I am going to plan. Today is the day of schedules, reading lists and calenders. I am going to install reading sessions, three times a week, summary writing sessions two times a week.
Anything to keep myself from studying right now.

posted by Marian @ 12:34 PM 0 comments

We got a 7.5/10, not a great result, but good enough.

I knew our grade would be something like this, but I'm still rather disappointed. Against my own better judgment I hoped for more.

posted by Marian @ 5:24 PM 8 comments

When I came home this morning, after a sleep-over at Ella's, a strange car was parked in front of my house. The front door was opened and my aunt, uncle and cousin were busy carrying boxes and putting furniture together. I was horrified.
They had allowed me to use my old room as a workplace for my project. After a month it didn't look so clean anymore. Sawdust on the floor, tools, paint buckets and other paraphernalia spread across the room in a random fashion. I planned to clean it, but had not done so yet.
I was expecting a phone-call from my cousin and figured there was no rush, since I had not heard anything. I learned now that my cousin had come to look at his new room last Monday, but I wasn't there and he didn't leave a note. Misunderstandings galore!
I can only imagine how they cursed me when they saw the mess...
They cleaned the hallway, the kitchen, the bathroom and threw all my stuff in my new room. I was rather embarrassed.

I'll have to get used to sharing my house again.

posted by Marian @ 4:03 PM 0 comments

When I returned from a lecture about Serendipity by Pek van Andel I found my teammates working on our creation. Both front and back were opened and wires hung loose: our machine was in shambles and it was only one hour before the exhibition would open.
Barely keeping my lunch down and my tears back I walked up to my colleagues asking them what was going on. They were not satisfied yet with the way it worked and were still trying to improve the code. Luckily they soon accepted the fact that their attempt was in vein and that it was too late to make any major changes. We put everything back together again.
This was only one of the thousand moments I almost had a heart attack this week.

In the end the opening went great, we had some very positive feedback and were even asked for another exhibition. I'm not sure if we should do that, it still needs work and it's hard for me not to see the obvious flaws. But being asked was a compliment anyway, so I'm happy.


Me and my team posing.

After a busy summer, studying continues. I just printed two big fat articles and intend to read them both before the lecture on Monday.
No rest for the weary.

posted by Marian @ 11:36 AM 0 comments

The exhibition is ready, all projects are there. Yesterday we had to present our creations. Tomorrow the grades will be put online.
It went well, except for when the power went down in our corner of the hall, just before our presentation. We had to move the machine and plug it in somewhere else. After rebooting and jiggling some wires it all worked fine again.
During our presentation I got to show my movie and it was well received. I don't think anyone failed the second semester project this year.


A game with only two buttons. The more random you press the two buttons, the more successful the creature you create will be.


Part of the installation with interactive paintings, inspired by Magritte's work.


Retro is cool, but many people don't know what the historical connotation is of what they wear. This installation informs them. I was quite put off by some quotes from Che Guevara.


Some fellow students checking out one of the two screens from the installation about fish. Is it real or a simulation?


A teacher experiencing free will on a tour through the city.


The team that did the fish-project seemed quite jealous at my beautiful machine.

posted by Marian @ 4:44 PM 1 comments

In no way did we manage to get this movie working properly in our game. It is programmed in processing, which isn't quite suitable for showing video. It's slow and choppy when I put it in there.
My second attempt to put it in the game somehow was to turn it into a screensaver. That worked great for my laptop, but the old pc we're using in the installation didn't understand.
Well... at least I can show it here...

posted by Marian @ 11:04 PM 0 comments

Besides the obvious Deep Pit of Doom and Despair (formerly known as my love-life) there is more to worry about.


My teammates crying over the failure of their n-th attempt to get the code and hardware working.

posted by Marian @ 3:00 PM 3 comments

Monday is the final deadline for The Project. We have been working on it all summer and today it will be done. I hope...
Here's a sample from the movie I'm making.

Our machine is green!

posted by Marian @ 10:11 AM 1 comments

I made a decision today. I have to live in the real, present world and let go of some romantic dreams.
I dreamt of sharing my life with my friend, loving him and being happy with him. At one point I thought it would be inevitable and didn't bother worrying about it, because I was so sure it would happen.
Now I am sure again. He will not have me.

I have known this for quite some time, he told me last year already. But every time we met I fed my hope with his kind words and the fun we had. He never tried to fool me, he was just being a friend.
No hard feelings.

My chest feels tight, my limbs are heavy and everything seems bleak. Nothing or noone (besides me and my illusions) are to blame.
Sometimes I wish I had allowed myself to stay in the dream, it was a nice place, pretending it could still happen. But it is fake, it made me more frustrated and desperate every day.

We talked and we will stay good friends, but I need distance first. I need to get my life on track and to get myself some new dreams.
When we're old and grey we'll laugh about how silly I was for wanting him and how silly he was for turning me down.

posted by Marian @ 6:48 PM 0 comments